Struggles

I'm having a really hard time here. Everyone keep on asking me whether I'm okay. Well, to be honest, I don't really know. I'm literally okay when I'm not talking about him, but when I am, it feels like I'm suffocating myself.

Still, thanks to a lot of people. Thank you Janine and Chloe, who called me and always stand by me once they know that I'm sad. Thanks to Jon, Joel and especially Michael for putting in effort in cheering me up. And also, sorry for showing you guys the really dark emotional side of mine. I don't know what else I can say except for these 2 words. Really, I appreciate a lot for what you guys did. I love every single one of you, my friends. ♥ Also, not to forget, my Ji Muis---Yasmine, Cartene and Bryan. Thank you for giving me all those quotes, I'm really looking forward to see you. Under one condition,  you have to treat me, and you do not have the right to say no. :D

And to that guy who couldn't find a spot for me in his heart, yes, you! It's your loss. Seriously, you're a heart-breaker, I hope that there won't be another girl who would end up being like me.

You said that you still want to be friend with me and honestly, I want that too, just not now. Just so you know, I feel sad too when we're nothing after this, that I've lost you as a best friend. It's just that, I'm not sure whether I could still act the same around you. What I need now is time. I promise that I will jump right in front of your face and say hi to you when I'm better. Maybe when I came back from overseas? Or maybe when I'm finally in college? Now again, can you promise that you'll wait for that moment? As a friend? =]

Jon is right, you're having a hard time too. I'm sincerely sorry that I've caused you all the miseries and struggles you had had. :)

P/s: Sorry to the names that I did not mention, thanks a lot too! Love you all loads loads! And please don't worry about me everyone, I know I will be better and stronger at the end of the day. Let's hope that Bali and S'pore will be kick ass happening, so that I can throw away all my miseries and bad luck! And again, do miss me people. I will miss you guys too! =] ♥

Tears ♥ Our Memories

I cry when I feel sad. I think that tears are the memories we had between us. I cry because I want the memories to get out of my mind. I want to erase you from my mind, my heart. It's aching even when I'm typing now. I never knew that it could be this deep, this fast. But I guess that's why love is a beautiful thing, right?

Why do I still want to hear the ugly truth? Because I want those words to come out from you, so that it's easier for me to let go. I don't think I can ever understand you. You want to keep me as your best bud by doing this to me? You knew how I feel for you but yet, you gave me hopes and promises but decided to confiscate them later on. Tell me how on earth am I going to understand this! Do you realize that you're being cruel and selfish here? How I wished I had never met you at all, so that I won't have to face these things now. How I wished.

Coincidentally, I was listening to this song when I'm listening to the ugly truth. Thanks to you and this song, I cried my heart out.

要重来多少次，我才会明白，要寻找一个我爱、他也爱我的人，是一件多么渺茫的事。

My Heart Is Sick

I just read my best friend's blog, and I found out that she's sad because of her younger brother's health problem. He got a hole in his heart, well many people do, but his is the more serious one. When I finished the whole post, I just feel like crying when I look at their picture. I know what that feels like when your closest one is sick, because my eldest brother is sick too. Very sick.

I'm not sure whether you can feel what I feel, but it's like tearing your heart apart as if it's just a blank paper. We still smile and laugh like we usually do, but when we're alone, that feeling just won't go away. And again, our heart is being teared apart and tears will eventually fill our eyes.

Cheer up Cartene, I'll pray for your brother too. Don't feel sad anymore okay, though I know it's oh so hard to actually do it. Just remember that there's someone just like you over here when you feel sad. You are definitely not alone and we all love you whole-heartedly. =] ♥

I hope you don't mind that I'm sharing your picture. =]

Kin's 19th Birthday Surprise Party ♥

Finally I'm free at night to blog about my best friend, Kin's 19th birthday cause the one I usually talk to in the middle of the night has to sleep early for his exam tomorrow. Good luck to him by the way. =] Okay, before I continue on my story, I must warn you that it's going to be a veeeeery long one. So, you better be prepared. Ready? Go! :)

About a week before her birthday, we, the girls were constantly on Facebook message to discuss about Kin's birthday surprise together with her 'boyfriend', Jiaqie. We've been through a real chaos while doing that, since some people weren't replying and none of us were being decisive enough. But we still did it in the end, successfully. So now, let's let the pictures to help a big part in my story-telling. *wink* ;)

Before everything started, what must all girls do? Beautify ourselves larh of course! Ahahaha! So this is how I look like when I'm applying my blush powder and my falsies. :*) And oh, they were having fun playing with my make ups, little kids, tsk tsk. =.="

After that, girls met and dined at T.G.I Friday. Please allow me to introduce ourselves, again, in case you don't know. That's Kin. Cartene. Jenny. Yasmine. Me. & Janine *From top left till bottom right* So, we're The Clique a.k.a the sexy ladies. ♥

This is Janine, my best babe for 12 years! I love you loads babeh! ♥ And since we have the same taste, we ordered 2 Guinness Stout. And lol, the waiter even asked for our IC. We were laughing our ass off cause we're so happy that we still look young. ;)

After the usual chit chat and lunch. Here comes the T.G.I.Friday's crews coming with the cake to do their tradition. The sing-a-song session. Muahahaha! After all, I've picked the right restaurant. =]

Most lovely sisters ever! =] ♥

And lastly, our normal and peace out group pictures. Special thanks to our cameraman-----Dev, Janine's friend who're working part-time there. =]

And this is Cartene. The most beautiful one obviously. Damn, I look so ugly here in contrast with her. *sob sob* Took this in Janine's car on the way home. Hmm, I still remember I was trying to 'kao' her on her first day when she was being transfered to KC High during Form2. :P

Oh, this was actually a random shot of me and Yasmine while we're having fun. I love how I look here so I've cropped it into my profile picture now. Plus, someone also constantly nagged me to change my previous one. :P

Oh my, finally finished this post. You know what time I started this? Around 3.30am, and the time now? Check the posted time. O.O Editing the pictures took most of my time. =/ There's another post coming up. Stay tuned peeps! You know I love you. =] ♥

My Fairytale Love Story ♥

Remember there's this one post that I've mentioned that "who knows I might be falling for a nice guy around me and he might be falling for me too."? Well, I want to say that, dreams do come true. ♥ I really hope that he's my Mr. Right. (What on earth is this 19-year old-girl thinking? Pfft) But I've told you in my last post, I always have faith in me. =]

I'm not going to say who is that lucky mystery guy,  (AHAHAHAH! He'll kill me after seeing this) but everyone has been saying that it's kind of obvious, so you guys just flip through my Facebook pages and blog posts and try to guess it yourself. Or you guys rather catch us in action tomorrow? I'll give you a hint on the place we're going, it's the place we went on the first day of 2011. *wink wink* ;)

And in case you wonder, it's not THAT easy to have a fairytale love story. Don't let chances slip through your fingers since we might not have another chance. So, I decided to grab mine. It might not be easy, but it's rewarding. Even if it's not an ending that you've always wanted, you can at least make things clean and clear, and eventually move on. =]

And this guy here, he's like a total roller coaster ride to me man. He can just make me laugh my ass off now, but I was actually crying because of him about 3 seconds ago. Great! =/ And I'm not sure whether he's a really nice guy, well, he seems like it, but once again, who knows. So you, yes you, better handle me with INTENSIVE care. Or else.. *evil look* ♥

What Lies Within My Heart ♥

Men are come from Mars and women are from Venus. That's what everyone has been saying and which I think is very true. "I wonder what he/she thinks of me." That's a question which would pop out in everyone's mind, but trust me, you'll never know until they tell you what they really think. But who knows, lie lies within believe.

From my perspective, what we (the girls) really want was never complicated, it's always the situations which make it worse. Us, girls, tend to wander in a big garden full with variety of flowers. We always hope to find ourselves the perfect one that we really love. But every single flower in that garden are blooming, roses are beautiful, daisies are delicate even cactus flower have their own kind of beauty. That's why we feel lost and confused sometimes. The lucky ones might picked the right flower on their first time, but to those who didn't, like me, we never give up, even though we might got hurt again and again by the thorns while trying to pick the flowers.

What's your choice? I've pick mine. I might be getting hurt again, but who cares? I might just be one step closer to the right one. I always have hope in me, though it might be disappointing, but what's life without hope? I know that I will be happy, some beautiful day, in my future, I always knew. =]

P/s: Finally found out the name of my all time favourite flower, Gerbera. I Love You. ♥

*Drum rolls* *Clears throat* I proudly present you my very not alien-like Chiwawa-----Louie! Isn't he adorable? I hate Chiwawa initially, like major hate. But after I saw him in a pet store when he's just around 6 months old (if I'm not mistaken) OMG, I immediately fell in love with him, he's just so not the normal Chiwawa which has a big ugly brain and a pair of very stuck out eyes. My baby here, got a perfect sad puppy eyes. He even knows how to blink with an eye. How cute is that! Too bad, he's mine! =]


So here's a link of a video clip of my baby doing this trick called Piang Piang. I first saw it on the Korean movie-----200 Pounds Beauty. The main character was doing this trick on her dog, of course mine can't compare with hers larh. But I'm kind of successful here what, so please give us a big applause here! Of course, my elder sister trained him well too! =] Enjoy the video!

Yesterday was full of laughter and tears. Tears of laughing too much. Credits to the guys-----Suren and Mervin. Really, thanks to them that Janine and I got to laugh the whole day, from day till night. It was so much fun looking at their feminine side. It was suppose to be him who hold my hands to help me but instead of that, I helped him more than he did to me. AHAHAHAH! Yes Mervin, kill me, I purposely one. I want to stop you from 'wan sek-ing', here's a picture of yours you've been wanted it to be posted here so much. =] I love this picture so much! 

Here's another announcement, please don't go to the Pertama Bak Kut Teh, forgot what's the name. It's RM50 for 4 people and it's not even that nice. The Bak Kut Teh pot was only full with vege instead of pork. =.= I think Janine just randomly found it from the Google since we were craving for it so much but didn't want to go that far to Kepong or Klang where there are so many famous Bak Kut Teh there. =/

I want to thank Mervin for being there for me, though he knew that he had to go for the dance practice which ended at midnight after our hangout. =/ I feel bad and happy at the same time. Thanks a lot! And oh, thanks for the ice-cream too Merv. You do realize that I didn't pay right? *Showing you a big broad smile* =]

Janine, we must do this another time, it feels so double date already though it's actually halfway true. *ahem* Under one condition, let's just skip the feminine part. AAHAHAHA! =P

Went out with Chloe and Jasmine yesterday to Mid Valley. Shop and shop till I drop. Got a Sushi King member card since they're having a promotion. Pay RM20 and get a card with a RM20 voucher and a 10% discount immediately, that means free for the card larh! Go grab it baby!

Ooh ahh, I also bought 2 Ray-Ban-like sunnies at Cotton On for only RM20! RM5 for the baby pink one. Such a steal right? What are you waiting for, go grab! Hmm, should have bought a lottery yesterday, everything seems to be 2020. =]

Met my brother's girlfriend, Laura, and her friend, Da Ming when my friends and I came out from an IT Store. What a coincidence. =]

Before leaving, we went to Topshop to have our bikini session.lol. Chloe is so hawt in the red bikini and so do Jasmine. Except for me since I'm the one who have a guy chest! *sob sob* Sigh, what to do, have to accept the fact no matter how much I hate it. =/ We took some pictures but Jasmine is putting her effort in editing them, so let's just give her some more time kay? =]

Can anyone help me to convince my dad to buy me an iPhone 4? Blackberry Torch is my substitute if I really can't get the iPhone before I get into college. =/ Please daddy! *showing puppy eyes that Aaron taught me*

Mervin arh Mervin. Sometimes I really don't know what to believe, I'm just so afraid that it'd be just another prank of yours. Can you please tell me in advance whether it's the truth or not before you say anything. =]

P/s: I wonder why every time I hangout with Chloe sure spent a lot one. Hmm.

Lots to blog but I forgot what was it about already. =/ Never mind, we will do this step by step.

Hangout with Janine. Aaron and Clandia last week to play badminton at KKK. Oh God, it sucks! RM12 for an hour, and they even have Aedes mosquitoes there! Yuck! I will never ever visit that place again. *Ahem* Back to the topic, there's a quote from Clandia "Who are the crazy people who actually think that they can play the badminton without the rackets?" Yes yes, the answer is us. I got mine, but no more extras, Janine have some trouble getting it, and I don't know why Aaron didn't bring it, thank God Clandia brought 3 rackets! Love you till the max! ♥


Before that, we stopped by at Taylor's Lakeside so that Janine can hand in her assignment and pick Aaron up. Then, Mervin came to have a walk with me. And thanks a lot for the Famous Amos cookies, I love it very much.   =] And your sign horh, not obvious enough larh dude! AHAHAH! Anyway, nice hanging out with you. *Ahem ahem*


And woots woots! Please cheer for me. My dad is getting me this!

It's one of the latest Nikon DSLR---D7000. Oh my gosh! I need to get it fast so that I can learn how to use it before we're going to Bali in the end of this month. Went to Lot10. Time Square and Pavillion to ask for the price just now, ended up shopping at Forever 21 with Janine, we met coincidentally there. Well anyway, wish me luck people. =]


Mervin, don't forget our deal. By tomorrow. And I wish you luck for your DiGi quest from Aaron tomorrow. =] Then only I'll put your picture up here on my blog. =]

Happy New Year ♥

Happy New Year peeps! I had an awesome countdown night with so many freaking people. Let me link them one by one, bear with me, I feel happy when I have friends in my posts. =] Janine. Suren. Aaron. Marissa. Amelia. Cyndy. Eimunn. Eimunn's sis-Yi Shin. Jon, The Walle Walle. Li Yang. And some friends' friends. (Sorry that I forgot your names =/) But there's only some of them continue to stay overnight at the Eastin Hotel. This hotel is so recommended, it's so spacious. More than enough for us, fyi, we did not sleep except for Jon.

Enjoyed our night at The Library, Curve with Vodka and I spent an hour puking. But just nice to catch up with the fireworks. Head back to hotel and there goes another round with Black Label. Mervin came with some juices to be our bartender. Thank God I've already recovered before he came. It was really nice to have him spending 2 or 3 hours with us. =] Btw, Janine got really drunk and did some stupid things to entertain us! AHAHAH! Jan, I don't think we can throw this incident out of our head man.lol Just bear with our teasing okay? =]

And I have to thank Li Yang for bringing us to the Kayu and for the treat, I was going to hunger till death. =/ And every month arh, remember kay? You've promised me! =] So, mamak and McDonald is our 1st food in year 2011. Cool eh?

Spent my day at Desa Park City with Janine and Suren. Then Mervin came to the rescue since I don't want to be the lamppost. Thanks for the Kepong Tong Sui, Merv! Next time you have to treat me I tell you! =]